i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
