If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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