I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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