Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
