We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
