You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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