just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need to calm my uterus...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
