I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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