i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
