Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
