and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
