i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No subtext here. People are naked.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
