All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When are your genitals available?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
