I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
