I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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