im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
