after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
