Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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