Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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