Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
