Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
