I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
