my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
