woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she looked like the before picture.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
