Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
