just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
