he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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