haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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