Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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