I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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