I'm so fucking centered right now
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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