M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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