he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I want her autograph on my taint
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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