I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
