my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
