i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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