Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
