Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
