You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
