I think my vagina is haunted
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
