highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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