well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
