i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
