i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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