You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
