eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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