I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
