stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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