you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We got so high we made milksteak
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
