Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
did you just send me my own nude
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
