Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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