yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
